Looking for the activity? Scroll down for a free printable you can do on your own or with your kids.
Fall has arrived. The morning air is crisper, the light is a little softer, and the leaves covering our yard crunch underfoot. I love the feel of fall. It makes me want to slow down and savor the season. There’s also an undertone of sadness, knowing the trees will be bare soon and winter is on its way.
As I watch the leaves change color and fall, I think about what’s actually happening. Before a tree lets its leaves go, it pulls back the nutrients it can still use. That’s part of why the leaves change color. Then the tree lets them fall to save energy for the winter ahead.
Letting go is both beautiful and necessary to prepare for the next season.
Like trees, we can benefit from letting go of what is no longer serving us well. Clearing out physical clutter or an overfull calendar can give us room to breathe. But letting go of the thoughts, beliefs, expectations, and habits we no longer need frees up even more energy for growth.
Those are often the hardest things to notice and release.
What’s familiar feels safe and often automatic. Unlike the tree, we don’t always know when it’s time to pull back what’s useful and let the rest go. And even when we do, change isn’t always easy, and it can take time.
Many of our thoughts and beliefs are so routine that they drive our actions without us realizing it. Maybe it’s the belief that we should be able to handle everything on our own. Maybe it’s the expectation that we need to get everything right, or the habit of saying yes when we’re already stretched too thin.
For parents, it might sound like, “If my child is struggling, I must be doing something wrong.” I’ve been there. When the school called about one of my kids, my first thought was, “I’m a psychologist. What must they think of me?” I had to let go of the idea that a child psychologist should have “perfect” kids, or that their struggles said something about my skills. In the end, I’m a parent first, and my kids are going to face challenges and make mistakes like everyone else. Letting go of that helped me focus on what my child actually needed.
For kids and teens, it might be, “I’m not good at math,” or “Everyone else is better than me.”
We carry these thoughts from one day to the next, often without realizing how much energy they take. That can show up as stress, guilt, or a shorter fuse with the people we love most. For kids, it might look like avoiding something hard or giving up before they start.
Often, what we’re holding on to helped us at one point. It may have helped us feel safe, prepared, or in control during a different season of life. I know this one well. With three kids in five years, I got used to doing everything myself because it was faster and easier. For a while, that worked. But eventually I had to find the patience to let go of doing things my way. Little by little, I handed over responsibility for keeping track of coats, water bottles, and homework to my kids.
Recognizing that these patterns once served a purpose makes it easier to be kind to ourselves instead of critical. Like the tree, we can keep what was useful and still let the rest go.
When a tree loses its leaves, it can look exposed, and even vulnerable. But its roots are still there, holding it steady through winter, even when nothing seems to be growing.
The same can be true for us. When we begin releasing old expectations, negative beliefs, or unhelpful habits, we may feel a little uncertain about what comes next.
That's where our own roots matter. Our values, relationships, strengths, and sources of support help keep us grounded when things change.
Maybe your roots include a trusted friend who listens without judgment, a family tradition that brings you comfort, or the ability to find humor during a difficult day.
Maybe it's knowing that you value kindness, curiosity, or connection, even when you're not showing up exactly as you'd hoped. For me, it was independence. Valuing that is what helped me let go and give my kids room to ride their bikes, go places with friends, and tackle projects without much direction from me.
When we know what keeps us grounded, we can lean on it during our own winter seasons. That builds resilience and flexibility.
Letting go of what drains us makes more room for what fills us up.
Fun fact: trees form next spring’s buds before their leaves even fall. If you look closely at a branch right now, you can see them, small and tightly closed, waiting out the winter. The energy the tree saved by letting go is what will help those buds grow.
And spring doesn’t arrive all at once. There are a few warm days, then a cold snap, then a little more green each week.
We can approach our own growth the same way. Once we recognize unhelpful patterns and routines, we can ask what we’d like to make room for.
Like spring, these shifts don’t happen overnight. Old thoughts and habits tend to come back, especially when we’re stressed or tired. That’s okay.
Letting go is rarely a one-time decision. It’s something we practice, one small choice at a time.
Children and teens carry beliefs about themselves too, often after a difficult experience, an embarrassing moment, or repeated frustration. A child who struggles with friendships may begin to believe that nobody likes them. A teen who has difficulty managing emotions might decide they're too sensitive and reactive.
As adults, our first instinct is often to jump in and reassure: “Of course people like you!” or “You’re not bad at that!” Although those responses come from a place of love, they can leave kids feeling dismissed or invalidated. A more helpful starting point is curiosity. We might gently respond, “Tell me more about that. That sounds hard.”
When children feel heard and validated, we create opportunities to explore what they’re experiencing and help them develop a more flexible way of viewing situations and themselves.
We can also model this process.
Imagine saying to your child, "I've noticed I keep telling myself I have to get everything done today and now I’m feeling stressed and overwhelmed. I’m going to see how much I can get done and take things one step at a time."
These moments show your child that we can notice our thoughts, whether they're helping, and choose how to respond. It also shows them that learning is a lifelong process, for grown-ups too.
Writing a thought down gives you a little distance from it. Once it's on paper, you can look at it instead of just believing it. Likewise, writing down your values, supports, and new ideas helps you visualize them and makes them easier to commit to.
That’s the idea behind Let it Fall: Letting Go and Making Room to Grow, a simple drawing activity you can do on your own, with a trusted partner, or alongside your kids.
Using the image of a tree, the activity invites you to explore four things:
There's no artistic talent required. Use the printable tree or draw a simple stick-figure tree with a few scribbled leaves. Both work.
Set aside 15 to 20 minutes, grab something to draw with, and give yourself permission to explore without worrying about getting it right.
If you're doing this with your child, consider making your own tree alongside theirs. Share a simple, age-appropriate example of something you're working on letting go of.
The goal isn't to force a positive thought or make an uncomfortable feeling disappear. It's to create space for reflection, understanding, and conversation.
Download the Letting Go and Making Room to Grow Activity
Fall is a season of change, and change often asks us to release something familiar before we know exactly what comes next. But letting go doesn't erase what came before. It doesn't mean we failed, or that the things we're releasing never mattered. It means we're choosing what we want to carry forward.
So, as the leaves begin to fall, take a moment to consider:
What am I holding on to that's no longer helping me grow? And what might become possible if I made a little room for something new?
Just like the tree, you don't have to have everything figured out today.
Your roots are still there.
And there's always room for new growth.
